I lost hope for my sister years ago after she continued to throw her life away. We haven’t always had the relationship we have now. We were pretty close growing up but as she chose the wrong path it began to tear us apart. I remember feeling angry at times because I grew up in a Christian home and I know she knows her right from her left. How can she continue to want this kind of life that takes you away from God and not to Him? I do remember praying for her and asking God to help change her for many many years. I did try my best to keep in touch with her over the years. Writing letters, phone calls, birthday cards, etc. All to show her I was thinking about her. We have many miles between us so this makes it difficult to see each other or keep in touch well. So, over the years we have just drifted apart even more. I started to forget to pray for her and just didn’t want to even think about all the mess she has become. This way it would save me from feeling so sad, from crying, being angry, you name it. I started to even have thoughts about her never changing and wondering how she could live that way. I figured if I didn’t think about her then it would just go away. I began to have a hard heart for her instead of showing her my love as a sister. My hope was gone by then and I didn’t know what to do. God continues to bring her choices to my attention through my mom. God is calling me to pray hard for her. He is calling me to have HOPE and FAITH that He is in control of the situation and HE can change her if it is His will. He is calling me to have a changed heart for her. I feel like Jonah who did not want to go to Nineveh and did not care about the people there.
Is it hard? Yes, very hard. But, I love God and I love my sister. It is hard to love when the other person doesn’t love you back and it is even harder when it is family. But, I am going to change and I am going to love more. I am turning in the other direction once again. I want my hope to be strong. I never thought my sister would be my Nineveh…but it is and God is calling me to start by praying for her. Then to start showing her my love with a change in my actions.