“My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad.” Psalm 34:2
You should have seen me as I sauntered my way down the back hall of church. My boots clacked loudly on the shiny floors. The pants fit just right. The shirt was flattering seeing as how it hid my squishy no-I’m-not-pregnant belly. I felt great! I was on the way to the parenting class that was offered this past spring and I was feeling fantastic. Oh, there is something about a great outfit that just makes you feel capable of anything, right?
Well, the night didn’t go so well for me. An evening that began with the clip-clop of my great boots ended with me literally on my knees “losing my dinner” in the outside planter.
It’s not my finest moment. And yet it’s one of my greatest gifts.
That’s just one example of what I call God’s “checks and balances” on my life. It’s in those moments I enter the Kingdom saying, “You’re welcome” to all who come in contact with me, that my gracious Father brings me to my knees (sometimes literally) and I remember the dust that I am, made righteous only by the generous gift of grace given me by the Father.
This is Janna. I am the woman who has to suck in my stomach so neighbors don’t ask if I’m expecting (because I’m not). I am the mother who loves her children deeply and yet says hurtful things to their little souls in moments of frustration. I have given parenting advice or thought, “That’s so sad they choose to do that to their children” and the next day I’m confronted head on with the exact behavior from one of my own children and look a lot like that “poor” parent. Adult friendships are sometimes a mystery to me. New ministry opportunities nearly paralyze me with fear.
And yet God… right? How could God love such a prideful-for-no-reason woman as myself? How could He love any of us? Who are we that anyone should boast?
My only hope is in my loving Savior. He finds me in this mess that is mine. He comforts my children. He leads me in my relationships. He leads me in ministry. He uses those very humbling experiences to remind me of how truly great He is.
All of us are like this. All of us are prideful at times and brought back to reality. All of us are lost without Christ.
Who are we without Him? Nothing. What are we without Him? Hopeless.
I am thankful for those moments that make my cheeks sting in embarrassment, honestly, because when my feet hit the ground I realize there is a crowd of witnesses around me that are willing to link arms with me. Our faces turn toward the Heavens, and we thank God together for all that He does for us… the dust made righteous by His sacrifice.
I will bless the LORD at all times; His praise shall continually be in my mouth. My soul makes its boast in the LORD; let the humble hear and be glad. Psalm 34:1-2