When I think back to high school I’m reminded of what a big deal boys were. “Who was dating who” was always the hot topic. Sometimes I think those who are older than you can fall into a mindset of “Oh, that’s just high school. They’ll date who they want to date but it’s not a big deal. It’s only a high school relationship”. I’m here to tell you I see you girls as more than that. Decisions you make in high school count. You count. 1 Timothy 4:12 says, “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.” You have an opportunity to show the Gospel of Jesus Christ by how you date and who you date.
I’m now 22 years old, and when I look back at my high school days, I recognize some poor decisions that I made in regards to dating. I didn’t consider God’s opinion on any of my boyfriends. Instead of seeking His will, I tried to force my will into being God’s will. Spoiler alert: it didn’t work. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with dating in high school. I learned a lot about myself and about what I wanted in a future husband through dating but I also could have saved myself a lot of heartbreak and mistakes by seeking God first in my relationships.
If I could go back to “high-school-Lexie” I would encourage myself to ask if the relationships and the choices I was making at the time were leading me into a deeper relationship with Christ or pulling me away from Him. I remember being in the middle of this beautiful mess called high school and thinking I had to have a boyfriend to look at myself as beautiful. Girls, don’t let the lies of this world become your “truths”. God has a beautiful plan for your life. Don’t settle for second best. You’re worth more than that. I promise.
The question then becomes how do we, as young women, discern God’s will for us concerning relationships? As you find yourself considering who or who not to date, or whether or not to date at all, I encourage you to ask God for His opinion. Because He does have an opinion and I can guarantee you it will always be right. Go to Him in prayer and hear His heart for you through His Word. Ask yourself, “Does this boy point me to Christ? Is he encouraging me in my relationship with Jesus? Does he desire God more than he desires me?” If the answer to these questions is no, then God has something better.
We all want to be loved but what exactly is love? 1 John 4:8 says, “Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.” God is love. Does the boy you’re dating, or that you want to date, know God? Because if he doesn’t, he will never be able to love you in the way God intended for you to be loved because God is love. Even guys that have wonderful standards and morals are missing the most important aspect in a relationship if they don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus. They’re missing the presence of the Holy Spirit and the saving grace of our Savior. God desires you to be loved as He designed it. That’s the best kind of love. The only true form of love.
So girls, go out and show the Gospel to your friends by making wise, healthy and godly choices in your relationships. Show your friends what a godly relationship looks like. Don’t give your heart away to just anyone. Give your heart to the guy that God has led your heart to. When you have two people, joined by the love of Christ, well, that’s a relationship that will change the world.