I was sitting with someone the other day and we were talking about life – the heavy and the hard of things right now. We weren’t solving or reasoning it all out we were really just talking, laying it all out between us. There were some moments of silence, quiet and good and other moments of lots of words forming questions that we didn’t have answers for. After a while that was marked with a few tears and deep heavy sighs she said these words to me:
Thank you for sitting here with me, in this.
She didn’t mean it in the physical sense, the here we are on the couch sitting together here, she meant it in the emotional sense, the, “This is where I am and thanks for being here too.”
It struck me right then, for all the moments and things we feel like we have to solve (and as women there are many things we feel we have to solve and have answers to) sometimes we really don’t need to have an answer. Sometimes we just need to sit in the spot that hurts with those that are hurting and allow the pain to have a voice. We don’t need to reason it out or try and figure out why God may have us here or there, no excuses or solutions needed. Instead just ears to hear and words that are simple and true, words like I don’t know and that’s okay, I don’t get it either and you’re right it doesn’t seem fair or just or worse bearable. Words like I hate this too. Just sitting, hearing how it hurts, how it feels. There will be time to lift up and encourage, sitting together in the moment doesn’t mean staying there forever, doesn’t mean we believe God has forgotten us or worse left us to fend for ourselves, it just means right now I will sit awhile here with you. Some times this is the best thing we can do, the thing that is needed the most.
Hospitality isn’t always about putting on your best behavior or putting out your prettiest dishes and sweeping the dog hair under the carpet. Sometimes it is simply about being available for the moment at hand, to listen and share in the moment that is hard and messy and has no clear end in sight. Sometimes hospitality is about opening the door to a friend and not worrying that there are piles of laundry all over the floor, dirty dishes in the sink and a to do list that is pages long, sometimes it’s simple, it’s sitting between the piles, the dirty, sitting in the muck together knowing it won’t always be like this but for today, it’s okay that it is and you’re not alone.
Love from the center of who you are; don’t fake it… Be good friends who love deeply; practice playing second fiddle. Romans 12 the message